John C Dvorak's Great Operating System Quiz 

Finding the right operating system is as simple as ordering
a pizza and answering some easy questions.

In the months (and perhaps years) ahead, many of us will be
confronted by a decision: What operating system to choose?
DOS? Unix? DOS with windows?

As I watch more and more users choose sides, it's apparent
that there are aspects of individual personalities that work
into the decision.  So I did some arduous research to
develop one of my famous tests to help people determine
which operating system is best for them.  I examine a
combination of both computing needs and personal habits.
Circle either the DOS, OS/2, W (for Windows), or Unix choice
next to your favorite answer.  Count up the number of
answers for each choice.  Whichever one dominates should be
the right operating system for you.  If there is a mismatch
of answers, then you should probably wait a year.

Dvorak's Operating System Quiz

1. What application do you expect to use the most?
 DOS) Spreadsheet
OS/2) Large complex database
   W) Solitaire
Unix) GREP

2. What is your favorite TV show?
 DOS) "Nova"
OS/2) "The MacNeil-Lehrer Report"
   W) Woody Woodpecker
Unix) The 3 A.M. test pattern

3. What is your favorite hobby?
 DOS) Stamp Collecting
OS/2) Bird Watching
   W) Snail Racing
Unix) Button Collecting

4. What kind of clothes do you prefer?
 DOS) Sports suit, no tie.
OS/2) Suit and tie.
   W) Sweater and jeans.
Unix) Nerdy T-shirt, jeans, and no underpants.

5. What kind of music do you like?
 DOS) The Beatles
OS/2) Classical
   W) New Age fusion music
Unix) Tuba solos

6. What's your favorite color?
 DOS) Modern beige
OS/2) Blue
   W) Stark white
Unix) Pizza-stain red

7. What's your favorite car?
 DOS) Ford
OS/2) Lexus
   W) Fake Bugatti
Unix) Borgward

8. Who is your favorite artist?
 DOS) Rembrandt
OS/2) Pollack
   W) Dali
Unix) Gary Larsen

9. Who is your favorite author?
 DOS) Robert Heinlein
OS/2) Tom Wolfe
   W) John Madden
Unix) Walt Disney

10. Who is your favorite actor?
 DOS) Rod Steiger
OS/2) John Wayne
   W) Leonard Nimoy
Unix) Richard Simmons

11. Who was your favorite president?
 DOS) Abe Lincoln
OS/2) Ronald Reagan
   W) Jack Kennedy
Unix) Hubert Humphrey

12. What's your preferred breakfast food?
 DOS) Cereal
OS/2) Steak and eggs
   W) Softboiled egg 
Unix) Pizza

13. If time wasn't important, how would you prefer to travel?
 DOS) Walk
OS/2) Steam train
   W) Hot air balloon
Unix) Pogo stick

14. (to be answered by men) If you were stuck on a desert island
    with only one woman, whom would you choose?
 DOS) Kim Basinger
OS/2) Meryl Streep
   W) Dr. Ruth Westheimer
Unix) a photo of Kim Basinger

15. (to be answered by women) If you were stuck on a desert island
    with only one man, whom would you choose?
 DOS) Kevin Costner
OS/2) Arnold Schwarzenegger
   W) Bill Gates
Unix) a photo of Kim Basinger

16. When you get up in the morning, what is the first thing you do?
 DOS) Shower
OS/2) Brush teeth
   W) Gargle
Unix) Pick off food stuck to body from sleeping with pizza

17. What's the last thing you do before going to bed?
 DOS) Let out cat, turn off lights
OS/2) Brush teeth
   W) Pray
Unix) Check to see if there is a pizza in the bed